Saturday, January 24, 2015

Challenges

Its almost a full month in to the new year. As every year goes, resolutions are always made in hopes to better our lives.But it is funny, when I ask people what there resolutions are a lot of times they tell me they don't make any.If they don't make any then they cant break any .At least that's what they tell me.I actually find that kind of sad actually. To me resolution's are goals, they are challenges we set for ourselves to make our lives better than before.I can not imagine a person without goals.Sure, I am happy with my life, but there is always room for improvement.Life is always moving so we  ourselves have got to keep moving as well. Anyway, this thought came to me this morning as I was trying to sleep. Why do all the thoughts and lessens of life hit us when we are trying to sleep? Maybe it is because we are still and quiet enough to hear life's messages around us. Maybe God was talking o me today.Regardless, its a marvelous thought to think about. But  there is one thing about the goals we set for ourselves that we need to keep in mind. All the choices we make for selves may not always go well with others. In my experience I have discovered that people that are close in your circle can sometimes frown and judge you upon your choices.People have a tendency to look down upon you if you make choices that don't agree with their way of thinking. It is expected.I know that simply because I live in a small town filled with gossipers. All I can say with that is Don't listen to the negative talk around you. Don't listen to those who think they have a hand in how you live your life.For a long time it use to bother me what people thought.I thought there was something wrong with me because I thought things differently. Duh, I am my own person.. No more.This year for me is a new challenge. Its a challenge to not worry so much about what others may think and focus a bit more on making me happy. Just to be clear, just because you are a parent, you do have a right to be happy too. Do not let anyone tell you that you can't do things for yourself to be happy or that your being selfish for putting yourself first from time to time. It is OK to live like a human being.If there is a positive lesson in that it is that kids will learn that other people matter too. But remember too that no matter what challenges we go through or that we set for selves, it is a challenge and will most likely take several attempts to reach those goals.Do not give up, be strong and remember the beautiful spirit that we were meant to be........basically if I tell myself this more often than I know I will be OK. Anyway....May God Bless your day.......

Friday, January 23, 2015

Catching up.......

 
           Wow I cant believe its been that long since I last wrote anything.I remember the days when I couldn't stop writing about what ever it was going through my head. Now I am lucky if any thoughts escape my head at all. I suppose my life has been a bit busy these days over the course of the year. I suppose dating will do that. Isn't it funny how  our lives change when we meet people and date them?I feel so different than I use to be now that I am not on my own anymore. Yeah, still single, but have a person in my life that I have to now consider before I make any judgement calls. Sometimes I think it was easier to be on my own than to date. Easier, but lonely. Either way, the best way to describe the past year is to say it was a roller coaster. I went back to the State Parks for work for my 9 months and  now I am unemployed again. That's the nature of my job is that I only get 9 months before being forced to take a break. I like the break, but miss the paycheck. It is incredibly hard to live off unemployment.But if they hire me back, than I am a very lucky person to be working for the Parks.If only the State of California would hire full time.....if only. But a job is a job and I will be incredibly grateful to get one again.In fact the picture I posted with this post is of work before I went off season. I am still so in love with the beauty of working at the lake. I have been totally spoiled for any inside job.

So this year....not much. My Giants won another World Series and I am still reeling over seeing them win a 3rd world series title. I remember years ago how anxious I was to see them just win one....but now 3? Isn't that crazy? The team has changed a bit but I still believe anything is possible. My Giants still get no respect but  winning 3 titles is no fluke. Management has done something right and I feel they can do it again. I wont even talk about the 49ers. So pissed they let the head coach go.They will regret that one I am sure.....but moving on.
Let see....I also could have blogged about seeing the movie the Interview. Ya know, the movie that North Korea didn't want us to see? Sure, its not an academy award winning film, and the humor was lame....but I am into lame movies and I just had to be a rebel against North Korea. LOL. Mainly I
I am just a big James Franco fan so I would have seen it regardless.
I think the one thing I regret not blogging about is the Death of Robin Williams. I grew up watching him and he was one of my favorite comedians. It is so incredibly sad when we loose someone that brought so much joy to the world. I still feel like the world is a bit more dark now that he is gone. It is shocking to me how people we don't know can effect us like that?I think this will effect me me for years to come.

OK, I also could have blogged about all the racism crap that been has been going on lately....but I wont for now. I have so much to say that I am going to need a lot more time to write and frankly not up to it. But soon.All I will say is that there is more to every side of the story.

Let see.....so as for my family...the kids are growing up faster than I can breath. My oldest is in collage now and takes the bus daily. I feel so bad I cant get her a car yet. It sucks to be poor. LOL. But shes a champ for making the trip every day. The other two are as bright as can be and they all make me as proud as a parent can be proud.Although they hate me every other day so I must be doing something right.I love my kids at all ages but I do look forward to the day when they are old enough to appreciate all the sacrifices I have done for them.....Parenting is still the hardest job out there.

Well, that's about all I can say at the moment. I can tell I am so out of practice with the blogging.I am also so sleep deprived these days that I haven't had much energy to do so. I hate getting older because the sleep problems get worse.More on that later. I  have totally forgotten how good it feels to let the words go. Hell, I also forgot how good it was to listen to Josh Groban because I went along time without listening to him....I broke down today because I was feeling a bit stressed and sure enough it brought me back up...LOL. Funny how that works.When you step away from something you enjoy for awhile than come back to it, it is amazing how good it feels. Its almost like discovering it again.

Well til later.....Will be back soon.....XOXO