Monday, December 31, 2012

Reflection of a 2012 parkaid




Lbrown photos
Mederios recreational area..










 What a year it has been.  2012 has sure flown by. Although it has had its ups and downs, I will say it has still been such a blessed year. So  today's entry I decided to post a few pics that I have taken at work. I love taking pictures of my work simply because that's the one place  I truly do feel so at home. There is amazing beauty so close by....and I get to experience it regularly. I have been blessed with this job and will always appreciate the chance I have been given. Weather it is a morning sunrise or the  green of the grass,the clouds in the sky or the  numerous wild life...there is always something breath taking to look at.Its been such a great year to experience it. I may never get rich with this job, but some times there is more to a job then the money aspect of it....there is simply more to life than what you can hold in your hands.

 I do want to say the one thing that effects me most this year is the loss of  our friend and co worker Lucy. Lucy  was a park aid for 26 years at the parks and her presence is surly missed, Some days I cant even look at a sunrise without thinking of her. I certainly hope our state park family will keep her in their memories always. God Bless You Lucy.

I also want to say  god Bless to our two rangers that left us  too this year....they have moved on to other parks, but their absence  will be missed too....You may not realize  it, but some times the little things that people do for you , or for the people around you makes a  huge difference. I noticed what they have done for the parks and I want to say thanks! State park rangers are  the unsung heroes of the park system. When  familiar things are gone or people are gone, then life tends to change.Its part of a cycle that happens so often..Gotta love each day for what it is cause you never know when it will  end or when some thing new will begin. I don't always like changes, but some times it is needed to make situations better.Life is  about moving on and making it the best you can.

So what will this up coming year bring? Who knows....life is always a mystery. All I do know is that I am going to try harder to  be even more appreciative of what I do have...every day is a new beginning, so each day I will be more open to new ideas, new  beliefs. Like life, there will be more mistakes, more challenges,  more road bumps to  climb over....but that is what makes life worth living. It is those challenges that makes us who we are....I so look forward to becoming even stronger than I am now.....I look forward to becoming a better mother, a better friend, a better  park aid, a better human being.....

 So here is to 2013.....a year to make the most of.....
 I

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Creativity


(Lbrown photo)
I am so  fascinated by the different ways to touch up photos. I feel like I discovered something new, even though people have been doing it for a long time already. (yes,I am slow to  technology) Although, it will never compare to my sister in laws work, but hey, I am entertained on what I can do at least....its all about trying and exploring  on the things you  already have.....I kind of like this picture. I am a big fan on vibrant colors.....looks like something out of a dream.....mine anyway....!

office space

Finding some  creative things on my Ipod today. Even my work space looks cool in black and white...love my office for this week!

Early morning light

This morning sunrise at work was absolutely filled with amazing color. Mederios  certainly has its charms in the  early light....Its the perfect way to start ones day!
lbrown photos


Sunday, December 23, 2012

A rambling kind of night.....

The winter storm we have been waiting for  has finally hit. I have not seen it  so wet in such a long time. We sure needed it, but my god is it cold. In fact there are parts of me that are going on strike and are not returning til   the rest of me gets heated back up. LOL. I wish there was a quick way to warm up....but I will settle for the use of my blankets tonight. Dam, I wish I had a nice fella to keep  me warm. But hey, my blankets  will do just fine. There is nothing  more comforting then snuggling down in layers of warm blankets. At least my blankets wont forget to put the seat down. LOL
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Well, the fact that I am posting tonight proves the world didn't end on December 21. There was so much talk about it since the beginning of the year and surprising some people actually believed it. The funny thing is the Mayans never said the world was going to end that day. That was just mankind getting it wrong AGAIN. But like everything else, once a story gets out, people believe regardless of actual fact.  Frankly, we should all be grateful it didn't.  Every day we are here on Earth with the freedoms we have, is another day in paradise.  We need to stop the complaining and focus on the real treasures in life...Sure, it can be tough at times, and trust me, i know tough times.....but we are still breathing  and are should see the world for all its possibilities. How grand is that? Hope, faith...that is what its about....
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So  of course I could go on and on about how grateful I am with life. It is easy to do this time of year. But  I am not in the mood for that. Yes, I am always grateful, but tonight I want to chill...and no, not from the cold either. Tonight's a good night to snuggle in the warmth of the covers...maybe turn on  the sounds of some   relaxing music. I am not sure tonight weather it will be James or Josh that I will listen to....both seem a perfect fitting for an night like this.There is something  so soothing about the strums of the guitar  with James, or the deep, calming vocals of Josh. Hell, I have an Ipod, why not both. All I know I will end my night  feeling comforting by sounds of pure magic. That is what some music is to me. I think if you can get moved by something pleasurable, than it is pure magic. We all need a little magic this time of year.Too may people take life so seriously.....we need the joys back in our lives. We really do.
~~
Tomorrow is  my last day of work for the week. I then will have Christmas and the next day off to celebrate with family. I think this is the first  time I have really looked forward to celebrating Christmas. I think most years I have been some what in a depressed state, especially since my  divorce. This year, I feel like a burden has been lifted from me.I think  because I feel so free, that I need to  really thank GOD for giving that peace to me.  I have been through the holiday blues like so many others feel this time of year....but the one thing I have learned through the years is that there is still hope for  other  wonderful things.The idea that some thing amazing is around the corner is very enduring. I love the idea that good things could happen at any time. Like today, a pleasant surprise from a co worker made me smile today. My dear friend Rosie brought us little Christmas  goodies to our  kiosk. She didn't have to, but the thought of that gesture was heart felt. Its the little unexpected things that really make life so incredibly special. Its people like Rosie that make the world a little nicer  to be in.

Wait, didn't I say before I am not in the mood to go on with how grateful I am with life? HA HA. Guess I was wrong. Sometimes I just write what ever pops in my head. Guess I need to get  my thoughts out onto  ...screen? I would say paper, but heck, its not. OK, enough rambling.....moving on.

~~
Well, I am shivering now, so guess I am going to crawl into my warm bed. (sadly alone)..Its my  quiet time so i am gonna enjoy the rest of this evening.So tonight to all my friends and family, god Bless and may amazing things happen to you in all that you do. And be BRAVE about it!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Comforting

Good evening cold December night. Boy are you chilly as ever this evening. Have my Christmas lights on at home tonight illuminating the room with warmth and color. I love my little trees that I have in the living room....and yes, I have 3 trees all together. Small, but lovely. I love when I have them all lit up because it radiates a soft glow that is so  incredibly comforting. Its a beautiful night for Christmas music and some snuggling under a blanket. Of course, being single, that snuggling will have to be  all by myself. Sadly  my kids have out grown the cuddle stage. Mama hasn't! But I am still blessed for such a peaceful moment. Although moments like this I do tend to fantasize what it would be like to share this evening with another soul. Someday! My sister in law said once that I may have to move for that to happen...she may be right. Not sure there's any decent fellows around here anyway. Wondering if I have the balls to  pick up and leave. That is a story for another time though....

Today has been one of  peace and I spent it thinking of ways I can  be a better person. Ever since the tragedy this week, I have been really thinking about how I can make a difference to my own family.I think we could all learn something about ourselves from this weeks events in Connecticut.  If anything good can comes from this tragedy, may it be a time to bring families closer together. That is what I want to try and do.

You have to take the good, with the bad
Smile even when you are not having the best day 
Love  and be grateful for what you have,
and appreciate what you have had.
People come and go in our lives, and so do things
Learn to let go
Love each moment as you experience them
Be forgiving, never forget
Learn from your mistakes without regret
Be the example you want to be
Be mindful  of those that just might see
Remember that your are human and  humans do change..its OK.
Things will go wrong,
so sing a new song
Life isn't perfect.. in fact its often a mess...
so open up and never be afraid to confess.....



Tomorrow is the first day of my work week. I will head to work early afternoon in my uniform, probably inspect a few boaters in the cold, and  work around the kiosk keeping it as clean as possible. Praying it won't rain. I may get a few visitors through the park, but this time of year tends to prove a bit more slow than anything. I don't mind though, it gives me time to appreciate the beauty of our lake. Nature always comforts me.

Anyway, hoping all my dear friends, family are all staying safe and warm tonight. Believe that someone out there is thinking of you... Isn't that a great thought?

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Help Calm the world

What better way to spend a quiet cold December evening then to sit with the light of a  beautiful Christmas tree, some hot apple pie ( a-la mode), and maybe a Christmas movie to top it all. Forgive the bad photo above, my Ipod takes crappy pictures, but it serves its purpose. I have to admit this is the first Christmas in a long time that I actually am enjoying such simple traditions. Maybe its the time off from work that I am getting, maybe its the tragedy the other day that has me living life better just a little bit more,  or maybe it is the new Josh Groban song that just came out...(LOL)....but what ever it is, it feels good to not worry about much this time of year. I am broke, I know my job will be ending soon, I cant get much for kids, I can barely  keep food in my house..but yet...I am not going to worry about it. Maybe that is Gods gift to me this year...some peace and freedom from worry. All I know is that I am enjoying this beautiful Christmas season and feel so grateful that my children are all  doing OK . I wish I could do more, but ya know, they have my love and attention and that's the best gift I could possibly give. I just hope certain teenagers in my house will someday realize that. LOL. Oh the joys of being a parent....I cant even imagine the holidays without such thoughts...
~~~~
 I will admit that sometimes when I realize how blessed I am for just the simple things,or the peaceful moments, a part of me feels  so incredibly guilty. I still think of the New Town tragedy and it still aches in my heart.How can I enjoy this when there is so many suffering?I cant even begin to imagine the pain that people in Connecticut are feeling. Will  the rest of America  forget what happened after a few days, weeks or months? How do we move on to make this a better country? People get upset, but what do they do to change things? What can we do  in our own life to make   things a little better? Are we really going to do something or just wait til this shock that we feel stops?  So many questions still out there....I have been struggling in my own mind on what I can do to make things a little better.There has to be something I can do....I haven't come up with a real solution, but my mind is so open to ideas. Since I cant afford much,I will have to start small...I suppose the  first thing I can do is be grateful for what I have and all the people in my life. Never take anyone for granted...Secondly, I suppose I can be nicer to that bully that picks on my son a lot. I think if we all took time to be nicer to even the people that upsets us, that makes us angry then maybe we can calm the world just a little bit. I think us adults need to be the example of how we want our kids to act. I think some times we forget that they are always watching. You don't even have to have kids to be setting an example for them..Third, I think we need to bring back better values to our lives....I mean how hard is it to  not let your kids watch violence or extremely negative things? Turn the TV off, make better choices, have real discussions on life events, take responsibility for your own actions.Its those little things like that we can do that might help this world get a little better,,,even if its only within our own families.We have to start some where. The beginning is US!
 Anyway....
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I am grateful at this moment. I am on day one of my two days off from work and I am enjoying the peace. My mind gets to wondering about all sorts of things and it isn't any wonder  that I get anxious a lot. LOL. I love my time off, but I do love the day when I do go back to work.( I know, I am weird) I like talking to the people that come through the park. I don't know, I just try to learn something new from each person I meet. It is always fascinating to hear the thoughts of others, even if it is only about the size of their fish and how they caught their fish. You can learn a lot from a fishermen.  Life is a lot like that...you throw your life pole out at life hoping to get a bite of something, anything,,,,some times you have a great catch, some times you don't. But there is one thing  all fishermen do,....they keep trying. I think that  for this world to get any better, to get safer, then we need to keep trying.. All of us!
~~~~
Anyway,
Off to watch Charlie Browns Christmas.....what better show to watch than a classic! God Bless to all...and may you  all find that gift to make the world a better place. Start by singing really loud in your car , even at a stop light when every one can see....enjoy life, embrace it.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Angel Faces

Had to  post the beautiful  faces of the angels that were lost a few days ago in Newtown. Let us not focus on the  name of the killer, but the names of our angels. Let us never forget.....and always remember to hug our children!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Brave...XOXOX

A bit chilly this morning getting out of bed, but it helps to have something to warm  up to. For me it is a cup of hot chocolate and a new song by Josh Groban.  I gotta say, I love the new song Brave.  I don't know, maybe it was yesterdays senseless tragedy, but this song seems so fitting today! If there was any lesson to learn today and carry with me today is that we need to  be Brave in all that we do. Life is way to short to let our fears stop us from living a happy, peaceful life... Bless you Groban for this lovely song! Awesome message. I cant wait for the rest of the Cd to come out...although I cant wait til I can actually afford to actually pre order it...UGH..sucks being that poor. But hey,  where there is a will, there is a way right?

Not its time to get ready for work. Love going to my job at the lake. Very peaceful and some times I  am in disbelief that I get paid for being there. Thank you God!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Gods Light

Let us have hope,
Let us have Love
Let us believe that we can make this world a better place....

Tonight, I end my day with sadness for the worlds loss, but am grateful for my beautiful children that I still have. Lets Gods light protect us all from all the evils of the planet. Together we can over come this heart ache that continues to flow through the planets veins.

We must work together!!

Let us pray for our children


As each day starts, we open our eyes,  get out of bed,  feed our bodies, clean our bodies, and  then continue to get ready for the new day. Some of us work, some of us go to school, but basically, most of us have things we have to do each day or places to go. We go through each day doing almost the same things not really thinking too much about it.I am sure most of us feel pretty invincible that we can get all the things done we set out to. Then we turn on the news to try and catch up on the world outside our own little world. Suddenly we see a story on the news that strikes to the center of our very core.Yes, it happened to someone else, but it is a reminder that these horrible crimes still are out there and can happen anywhere. When I see that many children lost their lives due to one person who cant control his anger, I feel angry.When I see someone use weapons to plan their revenge, I get angry. When I hear people feel more concern over their weapons then the loss of young human life, I get angry. When I see fighting over meaningless things, I get angry. When I see families struggling over loss of family members I get angry. When I see people  not care because it didn't happen to them, I get angry. This world is so vulnerable right now. Our schools hold the most precious gifts that we could ever have and it is still  one of the easiest places to target. Believe me, this wont be the last time this happens. Its a matter of time before it happens again.  When will this country wake up and see how much we are putting our kids in danger? Yes, you can fight for your rights to own a gun, but give me one dam reason why it is important to have one?I mean really, if someone breaks into your house do you think you will actually have time to get your gone out in time before an intruder gets ya? I could go on and on about gun control, but  it really wouldn't make a difference. What we need is for more people to realize that guns are not the answer and not carry them at all.I don't care if you like to shoot them...they are dangerous and  they have no business being anywhere near anyone else. We need more security at our schools, we need more training for our teachers, we need politicians to make it harder to have a gun..AND..we need them to get their heads out of their asses and really think about  whats important for the people...OF ALL CLASSES! I guess in short, we need CHANGE! But hey, lets not  just depend on the politicians. Let us do something ourselves....It really is up to us to make that change. So come on, people, get off your butts and let us protect our kids.I know we all could do a better job.

OK, I am done rambling. Today's events really got to me. I guess being a parent of 3 kids myself really got me riled up. I just cant imagine what those family members are feeling tonight.Its times like these that I have to remember how great life is, and not to take anything for granted.It is unfortunate that we need reminders like this.

So to all those effected by this, may gods healing hands carry you through this difficult time. I may not know you, I may not live  near you, but my heart is with you. God Bless.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Morning sunrise at San Luis Creek

LBrown Photo

Hello beautiful Sunday. It was a fabulous day at work today as I got to witness an amazing sun rise  among the  clouds and the fog.It really was a spectacular sight today. As I was busy at work this morning I had a realization about something that had been on my mind for a long time.With all the changes at work that has been happening lately, a part of me was starting to feel a bit hurt that I hadn't been getting opportunities to do more at work like some people.I figured since I have been there longer than many of the park aids that I would have better opportunities to expand my duties. I admit, my ego was really doing a number on me. But this sun rise that I saw today seemed different than usual. I have been at this kiosk many  mornings before, but  for some reason today's sunrise was even more beautiful than usual. I thought about it and realized that if I had gotten more opportunities to work elsewhere and doing other  tasks like I thought I wanted, I would not have even had the time to admire such beauty. I would have missed it  completely.Maybe that was the plan from  above....to  keep me in a place where beauty can be a part of my every day living. Would I really have wanted to miss this? I think not. So instead of  getting my ego in a  mood again, I am blessed that I get to stay where I am at. I am happy that  what I thought I wanted didn't happen.Some times the best gifts in life are the prayers that don't get answered. So for now, my little kiosk among the beautiful waters will  be my daily medicine ....how blessed am I?

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Words on paper


San Luis Creek
 Lbrown photo

Some days are just so incredibly  peaceful that I enjoy taking the time to reflect on life and write things down.I carry this book with me a lot of the time because I find that sometimes inspiration for things can come to me at any given moment. One of the things I like to write about are the things I am grateful for.God has given me so much to be grateful for, so putting them down on paper helps me realize that my struggles that I worry about can be over come. It does help me worry less. Some times I write poems that come to mind, while other times I write because I have a lot on my mind...sometimes I just write what I need to get done.I guess it doesn't really matter what I put in this book...all that matters is what it does to my soul afterwards....There is magic in words on paper.....Its almost rewarding as a Josh Groban song! :-)

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Rainbow hope at San Luis Creek

 (LBROWN PHOTO)
Another beautiful day at San Luis Creek. It rained most of the afternoon  so  work was pretty mild today. A lot of people would get bored with the  few visitors through the parks today, but for me, it was  quite peaceful.Watching the rain fall is very soothing. Although a few fisherman did come in and manage to catch a  couple of stripers today.Its funny how the rain doesn't bother some fishermen.  Its always interesting to hear  where and how they caught their fish. Although I admit some of them are very hush hush about their catching style. The sun did come out for a little while so that's how I was able to capture this rainbow. Seems like a bunch of them have been seen around these parts lately. There is something about seeing a full rainbow that  makes me feel happy. Its like if mother nature was  telling us all to have hope that there are better days ahead. I know corny right? I don't know, maybe I am just a corny gal! I  think I  much rather be corny than be negative about things.Its nice to be able to see the beauty in everything.

Sitting in the kiosk made me reflect on life a bit. I see so many people these days complaining  about work and about other people. For some reason I choose not to let it get to me. I am learning  not to take part in the negativity talk that goes around. Normally, too much negativity would get to me and drive me to a breaking point, but not today. I think the pending holidays and the fact I get Christmas off this year has gotten my spirits up. I think this is the first holiday season in a long time that I am NOT depressed about it. The idea of being able to spend time with my kids and family have really got to me in such a blessed way!

I did wonder today about all the changes work  has gone through this year. For a while I was really bothered by  a lot of the changes that were happening. Two of our rangers are  leaving soon and  it is reminding me how life, and familiar settings can quickly change.  I am a bit sad over their impending departure,because they are really good people, but I am so happy for them that they are moving on to new and better adventures. God knows what the future of our park will look like. Changes seem to be happening more and more each day. The economy sure isn't helping with that either.Changes  can often be a  first step to new beginnings so we should never be afraid of them. What ever happens to our lake, I just hope I get to be a part of what ever is in store for it. I want to witness great things for our state parks.

p.s.///Good Luck Burke family!!! Great job at the parks! Thanks for everything! We will all miss you guys!

Some morning inspiration


LBrown photo

This rain this morning is very inspiring. Why is it on the darkest of days, the grayest of skies that I find the most inspiration. I think I will take some time and think about the wisdom of one great  lady. Maya Angelou


Maya Angelou ~

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'


'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...'
'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn...'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'


Saturday, December 1, 2012

San Luis Creek and weather

LBrown photos!
Today at work was a marvelous day for weather. A little sun, rain, and some HUGE clouds.....San Luis Creek was simply wonderful to be at. I love my job as I find that the outdoor world is much more enjoyable than the inside one.The one thing I find the most fascinating about where I work is that it never is that boring. Weather like today never seems to keep the fishermen away either. Its always interesting to see who comes into the park  or what they caught that day. Every day it seems to be a little different,..different people, different stories. It really keeps me in tuned with the different people that make up this beautiful planet. Gotta love the parks! 

Keep Parks Open!!! Support them!