Intimacy

its late and I am still up. A part of me is tired, but my loneliness is keeping me from heading to bed. Yes, I am lonely. It doesn't mean I want any ole man to come around, just means that I am missing companionship this evening. Being single I have gotten quite use to these lonely nights. Being alone Inst bad most of the time, because I do alot for myself, but tonight seems to be a challenge. I think a person should be able to survive without having a person around. But I am human. It is so natural to crave affection from another weather its from a hug, a kiss, or sex. I do miss all three.It is the most natural and most beautiful emotion in the world. I use to think it was only done in seriously committed relationships, and a part of me still does, but a dear friend of mine has made me see things a little differently. The thought is still such a new thought to me, that I am not sure how to process that. Do you intimacy to get close to someone for connection? Do you use it for commitment? Do you just use it to just satisfy your needs? Do you use it to express your feelings for the other person?Do you have to be married? SO much to think about. I thought I knew what I want, but lately, its been a mystery. I suppose being alone gives me such a time to grow and find out what I want and need. But dam, I do miss the sex....lol. But seriously, how can I even be intimate with someone if I don't know what I want?

SO how does one satisfy their needs when they miss human contact? I have not figured that out. I am not a prude by any means, but at the same time, I am not going to connect with just anyone. I have not had much opportunity to connect really with too many people, so its no wonder it is taking me longer to find someone...But I know I will. Until then, a little faith and a little self love will have to do. Is that too personal? I got to be honest, I haven't been this open in such a long time. Anyway, til tomorrow...maybe my head will clear by then. Goodnight dear friends......

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A dream,

weather at night

as you are sleeping

or during the day

when you desire for more...

is your minds way

of telling you

that you can do more

with your life

if you put your mind, heart, and soul

into everything you do