Communication

One of my favorite websites I visit often is a website that basically is a bunch of support groups that cater around to helping others with particular need. It could be a group on an illness, divorce, drugs, sex, depression, humor, friendship…you name it, there’s a support group for it. I joined there years ago during a very difficult period of my life. Needless to say it’s been a godsend to me since then. Occasionally I go back and visit because there are great people there and I do like to offer my advice from time to time. I think with all the things I have been through in my life that I can really be a good ear to listen to if they need it. You would be surprised how many people in this world needs just a good ear to listen to them. Today I came across a few stories from women about how their husbands in their lives don’t listen to them, or appreciate them. I think many women can relate to that. Hell, I bet some men too. It got to me today cause I could relate to what they are complaining over. My ex started off a decent guy, but years into it, he changed. Not for the better either. Everything had to be his way, his needs….no matter how much talking I did, didn’t seem to help. Of course back then, I had my share of problems too. One of my problems is that I tend to keep my feelings to myself. You would never tell that by the amount of blogs I do. LOL. I do not confront people to well, even if I have been wronged. I guess I got that habit from my mother. She held her feelings in so long that I am sure it kept her from a lot in life. There’s probably still a little of that left in me. But I am realizing that.

Listening to the stories today it got me thinking. Why do relationships breakdown like that? Why do we not communicate with our partners honestly and consistently? Why do we change so much as individuals at times that it makes it hard to stay together? Why can’t we take honest feedback from our partners without getting upset over it? It is understandable that all relationships change at some point, the trick is to deal with those changes together rather than individually. So why do we turn away from the person who we are committed to? Why do we not feel safe about opening up? I am not sure if that makes sense, but it does in my mind. LOL. These are questions I ask myself a lot to figure out how to save myself from another bad relationship. I know I have had my faults in my past relationships, but this time to myself has made me see all the ways I can improve. When I read about others going through similar things, I want to reach out to them. No one should ever feel unappreciated. Married or not, we are all individuals with our own needs and to have a real shot at making any relationship work, you have to respect each other always. It’s all about give and take. Now knowing this, would I ever go back to my ex? No way. Too many painful hills I had to climb in that relationship. But I will tell you that I am grateful that it happened. It taught me how to deal with men a little better, myself a little better and life too. It also gave me 3 beautiful kids that got me on another wonderful journey. I look forward to the next journey in my life no matter where it takes me.

I guess my point in all this now is that if you have a relationship with someone. Anyone…. it takes effort to nourish it, and keep it striving. More importantly, communicating with those in your life is oh so important. No one can read minds, so unless you talk about what your private feelings are, no one will know.