Friday, January 23, 2015
Wow I cant believe its been that long since I last wrote anything.I remember the days when I couldn't stop writing about what ever it was going through my head. Now I am lucky if any thoughts escape my head at all. I suppose my life has been a bit busy these days over the course of the year. I suppose dating will do that. Isn't it funny how our lives change when we meet people and date them?I feel so different than I use to be now that I am not on my own anymore. Yeah, still single, but have a person in my life that I have to now consider before I make any judgement calls. Sometimes I think it was easier to be on my own than to date. Easier, but lonely. Either way, the best way to describe the past year is to say it was a roller coaster. I went back to the State Parks for work for my 9 months and now I am unemployed again. That's the nature of my job is that I only get 9 months before being forced to take a break. I like the break, but miss the paycheck. It is incredibly hard to live off unemployment.But if they hire me back, than I am a very lucky person to be working for the Parks.If only the State of California would hire full time.....if only. But a job is a job and I will be incredibly grateful to get one again.In fact the picture I posted with this post is of work before I went off season. I am still so in love with the beauty of working at the lake. I have been totally spoiled for any inside job.
So this year....not much. My Giants won another World Series and I am still reeling over seeing them win a 3rd world series title. I remember years ago how anxious I was to see them just win one....but now 3? Isn't that crazy? The team has changed a bit but I still believe anything is possible. My Giants still get no respect but winning 3 titles is no fluke. Management has done something right and I feel they can do it again. I wont even talk about the 49ers. So pissed they let the head coach go.They will regret that one I am sure.....but moving on.
Let see....I also could have blogged about seeing the movie the Interview. Ya know, the movie that North Korea didn't want us to see? Sure, its not an academy award winning film, and the humor was lame....but I am into lame movies and I just had to be a rebel against North Korea. LOL. Mainly I
I am just a big James Franco fan so I would have seen it regardless.
I think the one thing I regret not blogging about is the Death of Robin Williams. I grew up watching him and he was one of my favorite comedians. It is so incredibly sad when we loose someone that brought so much joy to the world. I still feel like the world is a bit more dark now that he is gone. It is shocking to me how people we don't know can effect us like that?I think this will effect me me for years to come.
OK, I also could have blogged about all the racism crap that been has been going on lately....but I wont for now. I have so much to say that I am going to need a lot more time to write and frankly not up to it. But soon.All I will say is that there is more to every side of the story.
Let see.....so as for my family...the kids are growing up faster than I can breath. My oldest is in collage now and takes the bus daily. I feel so bad I cant get her a car yet. It sucks to be poor. LOL. But shes a champ for making the trip every day. The other two are as bright as can be and they all make me as proud as a parent can be proud.Although they hate me every other day so I must be doing something right.I love my kids at all ages but I do look forward to the day when they are old enough to appreciate all the sacrifices I have done for them.....Parenting is still the hardest job out there.
Well, that's about all I can say at the moment. I can tell I am so out of practice with the blogging.I am also so sleep deprived these days that I haven't had much energy to do so. I hate getting older because the sleep problems get worse.More on that later. I have totally forgotten how good it feels to let the words go. Hell, I also forgot how good it was to listen to Josh Groban because I went along time without listening to him....I broke down today because I was feeling a bit stressed and sure enough it brought me back up...LOL. Funny how that works.When you step away from something you enjoy for awhile than come back to it, it is amazing how good it feels. Its almost like discovering it again.
Well til later.....Will be back soon.....XOXO
Monday, September 2, 2013
Anyway, other than that I am blessed for the day. I am blessed my kids are healthy, I am blessed I am healthy, I am blessed with a sweet and special friend, I am blessed that God has given me this day to be full of love, light , and of good thoughts. My journey tomorrow starts early tomorrow as my son has surgery very early, but I am grateful it wont take long. I just cant wait til its over....ugh. Til then, All I can do is pray God will see me through this beautiful night and bless me with his love.... Sweet Dreams to all........
With that said, I know being out of work would stress out so many people and cause great anxiety over not being able to meet ends meet. I haven't been able to make ends meet for quite sometime and yet I am still here. I think my faith has gotten me through some pretty tough times and it has also gotten me the things that I need. I no longer worry about tomorrow as I know it will take care of itself. I live for today and that is all that matters. So today I am focusing on the things that make me smile and fill my heart. I chose this beautiful Thomas Kincaid picture to post because it is something that touches my soul deeply. I love this artist work for many reasons, but mainly because I love how I feel when I look at a simple picture like this. I know I am a dreamer, a sensitive soul that gets carried away in the ideas of possible love, and dreams. I don't know, I have always been like this as far as I can remember. I am sure many people would tell me to get my head out of the clouds but frankly I don't want to. Hell, I am sure some would think I need meds to clear my thinking some. LOL. The world needs more dreamers, more sensitive beings. There is way too much hatred, anger, judgment, insensitivity in this world as it is. What we need are people that can see the beauty of possibilities, and have hope that the ultimate dreams are possible and to be a strong soul to help those reach their desires with encouragement.
These pictures take me to a place I would love to be. There is something magical in the idea of living in a small cottage some place in the middle of a small town....a place where families can grow, lovers can connect, hearts can become stronger. I don't need a fancy house with lots of stuff.....but a small cottage with just simple touches seems so eloquent, so beautiful. The light from the window makes me feel warmth and love from within. How sweet is it to be with the people you love and be all together in a home that is made with love. Don't get me wrong, I love my little apartment that I have made my own and love when my kids are here with me....but its not the same when we all cant be together at the same time, sharing our stories, our day, our love....Home is where you make it, but I will admit I do long for that little cottage that is made for quaint days and tender nights. Oh to dream...I may sound goofy and corny over such silly thoughts....but these thoughts are better than the negative ones that are often carried around by people. I am pure woman and yes, a sucker for beautiful romance and heart felt stories...... Dam, is it that time of the month again? Getting all sentimental again..... Oh well, Don't know any other way.....XOXOXO
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
I love the night and all its darkness, especially in times of uncertainty. It comforts me and reminds me so of how much a woman I am and how sensual I can be. I know my soul is a good one and that it aches for its match. I know that when I love someone, I love with all my heart. Loving only half way does no good for a persons spirit. I am so eager to see the moonlight tonight and the endless amount of stars in the heavens because they often guide me to a better place.. a better state of mind. All I know is that I long for a connection of a soul tonight, but right now it is still wondering about her own....I know the future is still unknown and I have many lessons to learn, but I am eager to continue on this journey to find out what Life has in store. I have deep understanding that with the beautiful moments of life, comes some pain and struggle. We can't have one without the other. I accept that. I long to see what these moments will bring to my life and how it will make me a better me. For now, I take it day by day making the best of every moment. Where it will lead me, I don't know, but as long as I keep putting myself in this vulnerable position then I can find beautiful things. You can't gain anything without risk.....It is a scary world to let anyone into your heart because it gives them power to break it. If we don't take that chance then we will never find what we need....
Anyway, its been a day. So much to think about lately. But its life. A soul would be pretty boring if we didn't have things to think about. We would never grow. I think tonight I am going to take a nice bath, lay in bed in the cool sheets and listen to some music. I am thinking Groban tonight as his voice soothes me when I am trying to find my way....Oh the sweet sounds of music....It has such healing powers. For anyone else that struggles...just know you are never alone and that there are people out there everywhere trying to find their own way on their journey just like you. Some times we can walk together, some times we must face things alone...either way, we are all one in this universe.